This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Success! We fucked roommates!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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