i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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