i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
