Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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