Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
