I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I AM VODKA MAN
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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