You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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