so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
