were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
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nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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