Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
