you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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