Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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