i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
