we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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