So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
