I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
