i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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