my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
