they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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