did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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