Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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