when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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