Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
