Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
