You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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