she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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