i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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