the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Randomize
