sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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