But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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