dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
