i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
