this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Princesses don't give blow jobs
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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