Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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