i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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