need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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