Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.