Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod

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  (256): I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod http://tfl.nu/7c05
  Replies (35) Good night (1136) Bad night (3073)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.

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  (440): I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat. http://tfl.nu/xoj4
  Replies (6) Good night (1079) Bad night (3254)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.

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  (956): im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober. http://tfl.nu/pinp
  Replies (10) Good night (2628) Bad night (1028)
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  (408): View more from California

  Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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  (408): Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling. http://tfl.nu/ek2q
  Replies (26) Good night (768) Bad night (4300)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.

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  (317): Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/3ucb
  Replies (16) Good night (5459) Bad night (902)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.

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  (605): Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester. http://tfl.nu/t8vg
  Replies (9) Good night (2822) Bad night (1191)
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  (530): View more from California

  My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.

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  (530): My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/pzgc
  Replies (13) Good night (3888) Bad night (1208)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?

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  (832): I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went? http://tfl.nu/hldx
  Replies (8) Good night (609) Bad night (1231)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I feel like a color. Like a wavy color

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  (913): I feel like a color. Like a wavy color http://tfl.nu/hgij
  Replies (5) Good night (1769) Bad night (466)
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  (619): View more from California

  No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist

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  (619): No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist http://tfl.nu/96uk
  Replies (7) Good night (1229) Bad night (413)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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  (406): I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open http://tfl.nu/p54l
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (256)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often

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  (412): wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often http://tfl.nu/efwp
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (230)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Stop touching yourself.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???

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  (608): Stop touching yourself. (262): Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera??? http://tfl.nu/6vj4
  Replies (11) Good night (1023) Bad night (368)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me

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  (251): Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me http://tfl.nu/bz24
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (251)
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  (909): View more from California

  Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.

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  (909): Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work. http://tfl.nu/qyvz
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (538)

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