im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
