you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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