bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
