What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Actions speak louder than pants.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
