Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
