great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
