i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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