Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
