nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
