I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
