In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
