I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
