I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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