a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
