Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
