you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
