Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
