I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
