Fuck appropriateness.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
