Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
