He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am naked and annoyed.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
