I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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