with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
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Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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