we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
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So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
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He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So was this before or after he cried about trump?