We won't sleep together?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me