I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
