I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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