id be glad to
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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