scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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