she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize